Blank Canvas Tuesday, February 11, 1997 - 9:40am I finally started putting paint on canvas yesterday. I've been dithering around for two weeks trying to sketch and think about it, but that rarely ever seems to work for me. I had a rough image in my mind, and that's usually what I need to get started. Even in my work, I break the rules and don't do storyboards or sketches most of the time. I just can't work that way for some reason... I never did like making outlines for written stuff either -- I suppose it's related. I felt fearful at first, worried that I wouldn't be able to make anything worthwhile. I also felt a bit intimidated again, uncertain about my painting skills and concerned about others' reaction to my work. All this without having put a drop of paint on the palette... I had to constantly remind myself to keep The Critic quiet ('that's awful... yeck... bad... that really sucks... what is THAT?...'). I also had to consciously think about staying loose. At one point, I started tightening up and it was showing... it was starting to look like bad paint-by-number. I managed to catch it in time. I found that by staying with a broad brush and moving quickly, painting gestures more than detail, I came up with an image that worked for me. I also was trying to stay loose with the color, though I may have been less successful with that. It's still not intuitive for me. All in all, I was satisfied... even happy. It was flowing. I was there. Could have gone on for hours... in fact I'll probably wish that I had when I go back to it next time... now I'm worried about going back to it cold, and becoming timid to add/change/mess-up anything that I've done so far. Previous Entry | Journal Index | Next Entry

[ Out of Balance ] author: Gerry Manacsa copyright 1997